10 May 2012

What would I want to change about him?

He tends to keep what he is feeling to himself. I’d really love to hear the dreaded words, “Honey, we need to talk” or, anything else to that effect, to actually understand what on earth is going on, all the time, in that big head of his & which, no one, I repeat, no one is privy to. What is the big deal about not wanting to share? I can never figure that out. I keep telling him, he’ll one day fall sick with all those secrets & things he keeps buried in his heart & he says he’d prefer that to pouring it all out. Arrrgh!!

I’d like to change his eating & sleeping habits. Odd hours & inadequate sleep plus inordinate amounts of food gulped down at the wrong times is a sure fire recipe for extremely unhealthy. Does he listen to the in-house dietician/nutritionist, i.e. me? NO. Does it matter that I’ve read “Don't Lose your Mind, Lose your Weight” start to finish AND backwards & completely assimilated what Rujuta shared? NO. Does it matter that I offer my invaluable services absolutely free of charge to my only client, my one & only husband? No. What matters to him is: Cook lovingly, serve lovingly, rest leave it. Shobha De, you were right. You wrote the very same thing in “Surviving Men” But how can I live with the fact that I married a lean & fit man, who now increasingly resembles Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor or at least, that is what my worst fears are.

I hate his snoring too. And when I say that, I must be speaking on behalf of one half of the entire female population who feel that about the men in their life whether father/brother or husband!

I want to go down on my knee & plead to him, “Can we please, in the name of all the Gods you believe in, limit your passion, your love, your fervor, your devotion & your reverence, FOR BEER, to just the weekend? Can we come to a settlement that Monday to Friday is strictly No Beer Days?” And please stop saying I must have beer because there is an important match today or they won, so I need to celebrate or oh! they lost, so I need to mourn or today is the first day of salary, so time for beer or today is the last day of salary, so beer. No, please none of that already! I have had enough of your love affair with that bottle. (Mr. Mallya, if you are reading this, I hate you!!)

But frankly, I can & I’ve lived with all of that. I can still pardon it (if he ever gets around to reading this post, I can see him glowering, particularly at the word ‘pardon’) What I really want him to know is that, the basic function of a phone, irrespective of whether it is priced at Rs 3000 or Rs 30,000, is to make a call & receive a call, especially during an emergency.

And the definition of emergency is: whenever your dear wife calls! Unlike in the dark ages, when you received a telegram after the person was dead & buried, or, if you are lucky, while he was breathing his last, mobile technology & all the features & the hundred and more things it does, means nothing to me, your wife, if you don’t receive my call. No, seriously, I don’t care what miracles your phone is capable of doing. The only feature I’m interested in is the one that lets you receive my call. Excuses like ‘it was in my trouser pocket’; ‘I was too drunk to hear it ringing’ ‘it was in silent mode’ won’t work. If you are too busy downing one pitcher of beer after another, & have no time in the world to pick up your phone, please kindly do this just one time: take your phone out of your pocket, search my number, press the call button, & for heaven’s sake utter these precious words: “I’ll be late”. That’s all I ask.

And the change I want to see in myself? To stop expecting seeing any change in him!

Ah! Wait! But THAT I can’t do!

जब तक जान रहेगी, ये इन्तेहाँ रहेगी, की काश ...

which is Hindi for As long as I live, I will continue to wish …

154 comments:

  1. hahaha..so true..we'd love to change so many things about them..
    there's a joke that goes:
    a guy marries a girl believing she won't change
    and a girl marries a guy believing he'd change....
    ...they are both unhappy 'cause the girl changes in many ways but the guy doesn't...:-))
    there is some truth in that, right?
    loved the way you put it, sujatha :-))

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  2. thou asketh for too much lady. this is not i repeat not going to happen. if it does, well i bow to thy man!

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    1. nahiiiiiiiiii .... aisa mat bolo ...... i live on in hope :)

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  3. My god! What are the matters the girls keeping in their minds always! We men wouldn't even imagine such things!

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    1. of course you wouldn't even imagine because you are all busy doing all the things ... where is the time left to imagine!

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  4. I liked it Sujatha...very well expressed your feeling...hope Sathya sir read it once...you are truly wonderful wife coz you accepted this habit of your hubby lovingly n this is the first step to change somebody...just have patience n everything will be all right....lovely n nice post...keep writing:)

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    1. thank you Mithlash

      jaise hi maine Sathya ko bola ki ths is what i am writing on next, he was like, "jo likhna hai likho ... honewala kuch nai .."

      :(((

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    2. Ha..ha...hoga zarur hoga :)

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  5. This was great!!!! I think every wife can understand all you have said well and nod their heads emphatically.

    Loved your ending- ha ha- so true and so helpful if we would all grasp it.

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    1. thank you Connie
      many more wives feel similarly - now that's kind of a strange relief to hear :)

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  6. It does happen sometimes that a man forgets he has a family out there waiting for him and his remaining untraceable or unreachable causes them anguish and pain.Men sometime behave irrationally.If this happens very rarely and man feel apolegetic abt it..its fine..

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    1. it happened just last week! i went crazy and in such moments only bad thoughts/fears come to our minds. he was supposed to be home by 7p.m or so but wasn't home till after 11.30. i called half the world trying to see if he was safe someplace drinking happily with his pals. he hadn't picked the phone & after a while it became not reachable.

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    2. I hate I hate that "I didn't hear of ringing" line. Somehow he has no problem hearing the phone when his boyz call. I wish I had some great words of wisdom to give u girl, but I'm on marriage #2 so what the heck do I know? At least this hubby texts to say he will be late and to check on the kids and to say he loves me.

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    3. yup, that's a lot - him texting and letting you know. :)

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    4. girl, can you get hubby to do tat at least? text you? marriage is always a battle of compromises

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  7. I was nodding my head in agreement, to every word you have mentioned. Reason?? Well, its the same story this side too!! :D

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    1. :DD .. oh nooo....toh yeh bhi kahani ghar ghar ki :(( i thought it was my unique problem!!

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  8. hmmmmmmmmmmmm...wishes wishes wishes..are they just agrt way to pass time :)

    http://sushmita-smile.blogspot.in/

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    1. what would world be without wishes, isn't it!

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  9. I can co-relate with the first point that you said.. kind of emotional hoarding, and not letting things out. I don't like to discuss certain things and i prefer to do it this way at times, and i'd rather take them with me to my grave than to see them let out, unless i want to, myself. :D

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    1. 'emotional hoarding" - that's the right word, nicer too - i like that. want to so insert it into the para now :D
      thanks Sugeeth :)

      only i really don't get it ... :((

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  10. Wow loved ure post and that sums it all.. love it Sujatha.
    Men pls read this

    http://styledestino.blogspot.com

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    1. thank you SJ, am glad you liked it :)

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  11. Whenever I read a post of yours, my thoughts on the post would start to flow immediately on the comments section but this one made me think, about what you are going through as a Wife/Mother. Very bold and courageous of you to write such a personal issue on a public platform but I have always admired you for that very reason. Even though Sathya thinks this post is not going to change anything but I hope he reads this, he should. I sincerely hope that he embraces teetotalism one day because he's got a wonderful wife who really cares about him. :)

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    1. hahaha whether he reads the post or not i really want him to read your response :)) ...
      ""wonderful wife"" . .. lalalalala .....Sathya listen listen to that

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  12. OMG!! It's a complete reflection of what's running in my mind Sujatha! Same-to-same with every word!! Why don't they listen to their wify's!!

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    1. really? and i thought की ये सिर्फ मेरी ही दर्द भरी दास्तान हैं :DDD
      right,.. if only they listened to us! :P

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  13. Oh ho Beer is goood .. Save water drink wine they say :)

    Now what do i say to this ...

    Bikram's

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    1. yeah right ... beer is the 3rd most drunk liquid after water and tea and you guys are contributing to move it to the top spot ...i understand :DD

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    2. he he he he .. Obviously .. do you know here in uk .. people actually have pubs as landmarks ..

      everything in moderation is fine i think..

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    3. something similar to our Bar & Restaurants and Temples as landmarks :)

      yup, moderation works. no one is asking to stop it

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  14. You certainly have a major challenge. Why don't you get him to read this post ! This may swing him to your point of view:)

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    1. yes, now that is another thing i want to change about him - his ignoring and sidelining and complete neglect of my blog posts :DD
      thanks for the additional point Sir :)

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  15. Secrets are fuel for acheivements for Scorpios....:-)

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  16. i prayer used by 12 step self help groups makes a lot of sense to me, and it goes - god, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can, and wisdom to know the difference.

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    1. yeah heard that one :)) so now i must try that chant :D

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  17. Ha ha... :) pretty much every woman's story.. Did you say, "Honey I need to talk?" that can never happen with Men...

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    1. :(( i so want to hear those words ... i am tired of being the only one saying that all the time :D

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  18. So easy to relate to this post Sujatha! Lovely expression! Despite all these familiar pitfalls of marriage the women are kind enough to take it in stride:)No wonder the almighty gave most virtues to women and vices to men!

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    1. क्या Sirji hope you are not being sarcastic ...
      haha ...
      they do have their virtues of course and we औरत जात our bad points but then that is topic for another post :DD
      fair na!

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    2. Thanks, Sujatha for giving marks to men for a few virtues, which I would now await to read in your next post:) Sarcasm, with you? Never!!

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  19. Don't wanna break your heart.. but cant refrain but say that I don't think you can change him ever.... They just wont change!

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    1. no no no .... :((

      hahah yeah hmmmm ... but try i must ... :DD

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  20. hehe So funny Sujatha! You are not alone! All women face similar grouses :). Par jab tak hain jaan jaane jahaan main nag karoongi ;-).

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    1. hahahah what did you do to that song .. haha... "NAG" karoongi - LOL

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    2. I think that is the single biggest complaint of all men that women "nag." It is true to a certain extent, don't you agree? ;-)

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  21. Very well presented our feelings... its voice of many women...
    Expectation always hurts....every weekend when hubby goes to meet his friends he will be usually late and this what i expect from or at least while leaving there make a call ...till now it never happened...
    for heaven’s sake utter these precious words: “I’ll be late”.

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    1. i KNOW!!! why why cant they just say that!
      you should see me ... if there is even half an hour's delay, i text him or call him and submit a full report on where i am, why the delay, when i am expected etc etc etc ... haha

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  22. :) Sujatha, with this post you have reinforced my belief in the fact that 'ye ghar ghar ki kahani hai' That said, very well thought and written. I wish there was a magic wand we women had to make them change ;)

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  23. You said you don't know what's going on in that big head then you barely leave anything to imagination! I am afraid your post will officially inspire him to pour the next pitcher. What do you think of the good old saying: when you can't beat them, join them ?! :-)

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    1. old saying ... ummm ... time to follow the sages :DD
      but oh no i hate the stink of beer ...its yuck!!

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  24. i am actually surprised at the similarities in our lives!! first was the looking young part, then the stay fit part and now this! it's like, bingo!! on the dot!!

    my hubby dearest is most of these....(except for the beer)
    irregular food habits *tick*
    irregular sleep *tick*
    lean guy gone rotund in ten years *tick*
    snoring *tick*
    not finding time to call *tick*


    mere muh ki baat cheen li aapne!! loved the way u've written this!

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    1. really? hehehe ... that's a strange thing, the similarities

      oh you are married for 10 years?!! WOW!... i mean that is like WOW! me still at 7 and already this post :DD

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  25. A personal predicament presented with utter professional flair that touched all hearts.

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    1. :)
      i am tempted to make a small booklet of your comments. seriously.

      and oh i hope you made some notes for your future married life :))

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    2. A booklet...ha ha ha.

      I am quite backward in terms of drinking, as my penchant in terms of the word drink is limited to only plain water and milk.

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    3. oh god!!!!! only water and milk!!! you are a rare specimen then and the matrimonial sites/brokers would queue up outside your home. he is a catch they will exclaim!! :DD

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  26. Men never write such posts. There is no hope left in them :P

    Destination Infinity

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    1. whaaaattttttt !!!!!!!!!!! arghghhg!! time to gang up with your wife :DD

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  27. good one sujatha.Got me smiling.We women cant ever stop expecting our men to change.Wonder what they would want to change in us:)u should ask satya to be a guest writer and write on that:)

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    1. actually, to be fair to him, i am doing that in one of my next posts,what he'd like, turned around a bit, in me :)

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    2. ok..will look forward to that one:)

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  28. .......and I thought wives turned from chandramukhi -into suryamukhi -into jwalamukhi for no reason whatever ; and here are a lot many justifications for them to change form ! You are right Suju, HE needs to change for the sake of a loving and caring YOU!
    .... and if all this not be true, then hats off to your imagination, ingenuity and creativity.

    Very nice post, I must say !

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    1. haha - the '..mukhi' bit was hilarious

      all this is true.
      but of course this post is written on a lighter note, not to malign him but just to show the common irritants & from what the other women have shared, seems they it is a worldwide problem :DD

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  29. Hi Sujatha, Stop this NAG NAG NAG Immediately.start ACCEPT whatever he is immediately.I care for you and so this un solicited advice.
    By the way share a Jug or two with him for a change and see the change in him immediately.

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    1. Hello Sir, hope you didn't take this post too seriously. It is just a regular common thing in many families written in a light manner. i attempted to be funny but looks like my dry sense of humor hasn't got across well. apologies :)

      yes, i love and accept him as he is but as a wife it is my birthright to make him better (supposedly) something on the lines of the white man's burden and again i am just kidding when i say this :))

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  30. I can’t imagine a positive change in that kind of people. They live in their iron stuff. They have Brain only, not Heart. I can’t make a company with them.

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    1. ouch! that was a very strong reaction. didn't expect it esp the part "i can't make company with them'

      this is not a complaint post or allegation post or a judgmental post. i like him the way he is and just as i wish that some of his small habits change for the better, he too wishes some of my habits too change for the better

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    2. Many people are like this. Proper EDUCATION (education about life) and TRAINING can only change them. An Organized approach is necessary. Then we will success.

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    3. ok boss whatever!! all i know is education and training hasn't changed some of my worst habits

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  31. Sujatha, when I read about the phone part, I felt, you ACTUALLY took thoughts from MY head and put them on your blog post!!! My hubby has a HTC, but what do I do with this huge brand phone, if you dont even pick up when EVER. I always tell him, a day would come, when some gundas would take me away and then you can give THEM your excuses :-P nevertheless I loved this post. No pretence and direct dil se.

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    1. seriously, they go on & on about the wonders their phone can do & i am just not interested anymore :DD

      and they really have no idea of an emergency. i mean, just imagine, god forbid, if we get stuck in some bad situation and we call them and ....
      the gunda scenario is so funny and scary too. these guys wont pick up the phone to negotiate the ransom amount also!!!!

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  32. what I liked is how you presented a rather irritating behavior found in..well most of us...in a witty and humorous way...without compromising the point you wanted to make...

    A wonderful piece Sujatha :-)

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    1. thank god for your comment! that is exactly what i intended ... it is just a fun post. somehow i got a couple of very strong reactions totally unexpected and i am like ...what!!!

      so thanks for your words

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  33. These are the most common traits of all the men.and all women want to change,but how is that possible? men must also be looking to change hundred things in us but can we?

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    1. hahah very true Renu ... it is both ways ... and my next post will be in Sathya's voice :))

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  34. Loved the humour in your post Sujatha! I too naively thought that the hubby would change for the better over a lot of things. But as Uma, rightly said, I have changed my expectations and he, well let's just say does what he pretty much feels. Blogged about it too here http://wrenwarbles.blogspot.com/2008/07/late-nights-and-repurcussions.html

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    1. thanks for the link. i really appreciate it because it helps me go directly to the post and saves time searching/scrolling up & down. i will definitely read what you shared in that post :)

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  35. I could write an entire book on things that I want to change in my husband. But all are wishes, wishes... I dont expect that he'll change :) Its better that I adjust than expecting him to improve :) For ex the snoring thing, during the intial days of marriage it used to irritate me. Blv me, I used to sleep with my music player plugged into my ears. But now, even when his snoring is enough the wake up the entire building, I am able to sleep peacefully :P

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    1. hahhaha you have ADAPTED too well dear! that is really an achievement to sleep peacefully during a roaring session right next to our ears!!!

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  36. Replies
    1. :))

      oh no the right expression should be :((

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  37. Your art to write about anything in a appealing way was proven again. This is a ghar ghar kahani with changes here and there. The intents are same. Hope ur husband does not have a big list than you about what he wants to change in you. May be it will be a good blog where u can highlight of what ur husband wants to change in you.......if any..

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    1. oh yes Gopinath ... i am already working on that one :))
      i had no idea about a sequel to this post when i penned this post but i seem to have pissed off the male species majorly (and pleased the women folk) that it is time for retribution i guess

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    2. Hmm. But it was common to have such replies. Hope to see ur sequel soon. Happy mothers day.

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  38. Hi Sathya...Brilliant post...I know that feeling ...'I wish you would change...Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...........Roar!!!' ha ha....:D

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    1. haha right :))

      this post has surely divided the genders :D

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  39. Wow. Great Read. I'm sure almost all the wives would agree with your thoughts. It's so omnipresent. Men are all the same :-)

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    1. wait till you sail the same boat and then reflect back on this post - haha ...... on second thoughts - i pray you don't ... i hope u get a completely malleable spouse :DD (wishing for too much na?!!)

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    2. Wishing, Hoping, Praying :-) ;-)

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  40. Hey Sathya enjoyed reading your post thoroughly ... keep penning them... liked it... cheers!

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  41. Vijay,

    that's interesting - coming from a man :))
    thank you!

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  42. hehehhehehe...Sujatha.Great post girl.So finally you have come to that point of being a nagging wife.Dont worry we all are.In time,it will get better.I went through this a couple of years ago.Men get very very comfy and sometimes,endless lectures, the staring to get my point across,waiting for him to finsish with his friends and come to a realization,there is a woman at home waiitng for this man to return and spend quality time.Dont worry,it will take time.But continue to guide him,he will come around.

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    1. thank you Suzy
      a lot of these small habits are actually harming his health so much. he knows it too. and yet he neglects it. sometimes yes just plain lazy esp in matters related to health.

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  43. I have the same problem . And you know what I did ? I followed the reverse psychology method and it actually worked !
    Though there are still a lot of things I would want to change in him
    And all he says everytime is 'Bas madam aapke gulam hai hum' :D

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  44. I am sorry Sujatha but let me laugh out loud on your post (not your plight). That was one hillairous way of nagging, and good one indeed. Every wife must have been through or still going through this.

    I wish and i will try not to let my wife go through this, when she walks into my life :)

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    1. was this nagging? :((

      hilarious? oh thank you :) that was the intention

      hehheh you are poised to be a very good husband :)

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  45. The 'Beer affair' is quite a treat to read. The Mobile related excuses too. Nice share & keep sharing!!!!

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    1. thank you Sriram. m glad you had fun reading this one. it was meant for a fun read only. unfortunately for me some have taken it too seriously!

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  46. Hahaha......when I read your first sentence, I thought, this looks something similar to my case....:) rest all is not the same though...hope your husband reads it and it works out well..good luck....men never change...I have my own saying here...."all men are made from the same piece of cloth, only difference is that they are cut in different sizes and shapes"....;)

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  47. Do men behave like this after marriage?? I won't do that.. I am a gym person and I always will be.. I don't snore.. I don't drink.. I care for my family very much. I am not lazy. huff.. enough.

    In your case, I think you are pleading too much. That is the problem I guess. You just have to find a way to keep your relationship interesting and energetic. It's in your hands.

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    1. hello boss ... my relationship is ALREADY very interesting and energetic. the post is a result of the sense of humor we share. and it is only a light-hearted write-up on something that is very common across the board :)

      and as for all your good qualities, what can i say! Good for you! :))

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    2. ok then, my reply was to all housewives who feel hopeless about their personal life.

      and as for your sense of humor, Good for you :) :)

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  48. Most men are alike; and most Women too.. My wife thinks no different than you Sujatha (except beer, since I don't take it).

    Enlightening read to most hubbies out here on Planet Earth :o)

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    1. thank God you liked the post. i was so relieved!
      and i see that i have another ally in your wife :))

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  49. oh ..then Married life is all about giveing free diet advice or,,bearing the snoring partner ,,or may be swearing at Mr.Mallya..and wishing all these could change someday!
    was a great read..and about the beer part..indeed more than half of women population in the country are Mallya haters!

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    1. hehehe .. no no .. this is just one part of the marriage deal :) and frankly, this is not the 'so bad' part of it

      oh, the snoring is a definite YES. be prepared :O)

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    2. hehe.. does that mean somethin 'so bad' than this exists in the marriage deal?!
      Jud kidding..
      Hope there will be another post soon ..'Things that I have changed about him '.
      and about the snoring part.."NIGHTMARE"

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  50. Loved it Sujatha.Agree with Gopinath,how about a post on his take about changing some things about you..if he is like most men,he will say,NOTHING he would like to change about you!

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    1. Tks for agreeing but i dont understand ur comment ...if he is like most men, he will say nothing...

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    2. sure! why not! in fact, i am already on the job! so the next post is going to be a lot of Sujatha 'bashing' (that is, in case this came across as Sathya bashing) :O)

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    3. Gopinath,

      by that Sharmila meant Sathya (any husband) will say he doesn't want to change anything about me (any wife) :))

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  51. This post reflects humor, pain and contemplation, Sujatha...very well written, and yes, you've honestly expressed your feelings. But let me share my personal view; it has nothing to do with the issues you dealt with in the post and I hope you won't mind me saying this but this is from the perspective of a spiritual seeker and nothingelse :

    1. It is easy for strangers like me to appreciate and pat you on the back for the honesty and passion with which you have written this. Why? Because it is the easiest thing to do. Not necessarily sincere.

    2. Good post, no doubts. But how good is that for your happiness and growth? Answer is nil. Because no matter what the context is, the first person this communication needs to reach on time is your blessed partner, your better half. If this communication reaches him last and probably on his own discovery, it is unfair to him even if this post is written on an emotional impulse or even with a sense of wit. I am not sure this will contribute to his happiness or yours in the long run.

    3. In this world, we burden others and ourselves with our expectations in various capacities. To be critical is easy. To be constructive is difficult because that requires a solid, solution-oriented approach. Examine which category this post falls into.

    These observations are for your good in the long run. If my observations are incorrect, bear with me please because it could be from my own ignorance.

    What I'd like to stress on is that while we as wives understand each other's problems we may not be able help each other with anything other than such verbal support. Therefore, the problems you faced, the difficulties you plan to overcome - those need to be conveyed to the right person for the right reasons.

    All the best, Sujatha!

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    1. i absolutely appreciate your feedback Swapna. just the time and interest you have taken to respond to the post in such a nice and detailed manner is heart-warming. thank you for that.

      as for the post, hahaha Sathya already knows all this and this is just a light-hearted post on a rather common thing in most households and as you can see most of these are just the little "habits" of men, not any character flaws and i have a dozen habits too which i will put up in my next post which should have been today but i am having issues with my computer. its not working since a few days

      again Swapna i really loved that you responded to the post in such a genuine manner. thank you :)

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  52. Hello, how do I comment on your a picture a story post? The kapu ones was marvelous!

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    1. yeah those are my fav too :)
      thank you Jenny

      i have actually disabled commenting on that blog.

      waise bhi, i am just a 'point and click' type of person, not a serious/passionate photographer :D so commenting rakhne ka koi matlab nai, na?

      Delete
  53. (This comment is pure irony ;) and not to hurt anyone)

    1. All through out A+, never failed in exam and fav of all the teachers who has taught and not taught also!
    2. Person who non stop gets appreciation from parents and inlaws and every other citizen
    3. No Drinking not even for socializing
    4. Well mannered and maintains proper food and sleeping habits!!!

    DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW difficult for exact opposite person to live with person of above mentioned QUALITIES????

    Call me I will tell you how it feels to not find a defect to complain\rant about! that too :( when u are just the opposite of him!!!

    CALL ME NOW!!!!

    :D Awesome post loved it dear differences are fun of life!!! Enjoy and celebrate it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh forgot to mention 5th point
      5. answers Calls and also does Call\message\emails\Ashareera Vaanis(if no connectivity) frequently keeps everyone informed!!!!
      do u know how much all these are ;) when u dont bother to pick the call enjoying a fashion analysis show on tv, how it feels when u sit on couch enjoying pakoda and he returns back after a good walk!!!
      Youuuuuuuuuu dont get me started now!!!!!!!!!! lol

      hey the snap is awesome :D. keep writing :D

      ok my ranting over!!! :D

      Delete
    2. my immediate reaction was: whattay a catch!!! :DD

      just one question: any more pieces in the same make???? hahahah

      or i will just pray to God to make duplicate copies so that one will be reserved for me for my NEXT life :))

      oh one more thing: now it is MY turn to be jeeeaaaalooooooussssss :)

      Delete
  54. Very well written post expressing your feelings lying deep in your heart

    Wish you a Happy Mother's day

    ReplyDelete
  55. Wow.. that is some serious "MEN" bashing. :P But yeah.. lots of truth there in what you have written (sadly). I am sure you can write your own version of "surviving men". Lots of sarcasm in this one. Liked your version of an emergency call. :) And I can't stand beer. (Not that I am a connoisseur of other spirits).

    A very good post for men to mend their ways or to be more sensitive to their spouses. :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. haha thanks Raj :)
      if you notice most of it is for HIS own good...if only he'd listen !! biwi ki suno!!

      some lessons there for you i hope :) not that you would need them i am sure

      Delete
    2. Oh yes.. definitely.. I will need them. ;)

      Delete
  56. Albert Einstein once observed that Women marry men hoping they will change while Men marry women hoping they will not...

    inevitably , each is disappointed...

    men will be well, men... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Albert Einstein was a wise man indeed :D

      par just see, if men do even half of this, can you imagine how their bodies and lives are going to be Transformed!!!
      just imagine!

      unfortunately, Sathya refuses to imagine :(

      Delete
  57. My advice is not to try to change a person. Yes if he/she observes and changes on their own then it is a different matter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that is a good advice. i say the same thing to others too :))))

      Delete
  58. Now, I know how wives feel about their husbands. Not that I didn't know earlier, now there's written proof! :D

    As far as the secret mentality is concerned, Men are made that way I guess. We feel we can handle problems on our own without informing / disturbing the better halves.. Just a point of view :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha .... yeah this is good "documentation" i guess :)

      and the problems men assure us of addressing ... it ultimately comes to us one day in a much more magnified manner, if i am not wrong that is :)

      Delete
  59. "Can we please, in the name of all the Gods you believe in, limit your passion, your love, your fervor, your devotion & your reverence, FOR BEER, to just the weekend? Can we come to a settlement that Monday to Friday is strictly No Beer Days?”"

    which woman says that to her husband...it's a sin to refrain someone from alcohol usage...!!!

    :P:P:P

    rahul

    ReplyDelete
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    1. i really thought you were going to praise me saying which wife would ever say such a wonderful thing ki 'jao patidev pio but only on weekends ....and you you Rahul... this is
      what you say!!!

      LOL

      Delete
  60. every wives' wish - to change her man for better! very well expressed (as usual!)

    ReplyDelete
  61. I must admit, I'm very, VERY lucky with my boyfriend; he is probably the only guy I know that is in touch with his sensitive, emotional, and feminine side, so we have such a wonderful open and honest communication in our relationship that rivals everyone I know! He has no issues telling me his feelings and I'm happy about that :)

    But I DO agree with the eating and sleeping habits-I can't blame him because he works third shift so his sleeping is pretty sporadic, but his eating is COMPLETE crap o.O

    Oh, and the thing I would change the most-He smokes. Ick!

    We all have something we wish we can change but the good thing about you is you accept your hubby for who he is (more or less) and I'm sure he appreciates that :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah Sathya works shifts too ... been doing that since the past 6 years and though i have been telling him to change his job and which he can easily do too, he just wont listen to me. ultimately, his health has gone for a toss

      oh sure i love him just as he is. tings like eating/sleeping/sharing thoughts/drinking within limits - all this is only for his own good which he will realize one day i am sure

      Delete
  62. Thank you, Sujatha for all your lovely comments on my photo blog. (:

    Your photo blog is also quite beautiful. I would've commented there, but wasn't sure where to . Thanks again, have a lovely week!

    ReplyDelete
  63. I find snoring the most difficult to handle!! Just can't sleep :/

    Good post!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. yeah ... it is horrible esp when you are just about to drift off to sleep and this big sound system Dolby style starts off :D

      Delete
  64. beautiful post-all wives are behind you.

    ReplyDelete
  65. LOL! I am with you on this. But I have managed to change my husband quite a lot since the wedding. His personality is the same but his habits have changed! I guess I'm a big bully.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah here and there they do accommodate us & help us turn them into better behaving adults :DDD

      m currently reading Why Mars & Venus Collide by John Gray and pretty interesting

      Delete
  66. Another great post about your expectations on the characteristics of your husband. Now a days I think most of us snore while sleeping without knowing. Whenever I tell my wife that she was snoring, she will tell that I also was snoring most of the time while sleeping.
    Another expectation to reduce the business of Mr.Mallaya is really good. Now a days it is very rare to find non drinkers.(Fortunately I as a teetotaler avoided taking any hard drinks.) It has become a fashion among people of all ages. Anyhow good luck for you if your husband reads this post and stopped taking drinks :-)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. :)) thank you very much Sir

      teetotalers like you are very very rare these days :)

      Delete
  67. Hilarious absolutely!!! :D Oh simply love it!
    Always enjoy reading your posts Sujatha.
    Yes, we shall go on wishing/hoping since we are from Venous and men will of course be men as they are from Mars :)
    hee hee hee ....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. true true :)) the Mars and Venus eternal fights :DD

      Delete