Ever been with a person who thinks she has all the answers? The stuffy, rigid, straitlaced person with a closed mind? The one who pretends everything is perfect in her life? The quick to judge & quick to advice type, who is a ready reference of the Do’s & don’ts of life, who secretly endorses the dictum, “If shit happens, cover it up”? We mothers drill this “good girl - bad girl” concept into our daughters’ minds almost from the time they’re in our wombs & then, Lo! Behold! They grow up to be the moral guardians of the society (an unofficial Sri Ram Sainik!!)
When will they appreciate, that every face has a story. Just because my story is different from yours doesn’t make you any better or worse than me. Questions of morality are petty in the larger scheme of things & very subjective & so damn twisted, it’s not worth the fret.
Interestingly, morality is also relative, in terms of time. Love marriages, in the 60’s & 70’s, were a crime. 30 years on, they are no longer frowned upon. We now have the “love cum arranged” marriage!! If the boy is “well-settled” parents arrange the wedding, despite caste/religion. So, will you still sneer at your ageing aunt who ran away from home & got married to her ‘other caste’ lover?
Divorce is accepted as inevitable in many countries but is still a dirty word in ours. Here, a divorced woman is an eyesore & always the one to be blamed for the marriage to have failed. Can’t we stop belittling a divorcee (whatever the reasons for the divorce) & for once, try & empathize? How can we judge a daughter based on what the mother did? Or a father based on what his son did?
What irks me is these so-called “religious” people sitting in judgment over others’ lives. These monthly church or temple going, weekly fasting & daily praying-before-dinner type of “holy” pricks don’t understand one simple & basic truth of the Bible repeated many times over: that you’re no one, nobody, to judge others, least of all your friends, for Christ’s sake. Even Jesus didn’t. Then who the hell are you to pass character certificates on others? ‘To each his own’ for God’s sake.
Who are these people anyways? Neighbors - why should you care for their opinion? Friends - if they don’t understand you but instead speak ill of you, then baby, they ain’t your friends no more!! Relatives - do they’ve anything better to do in life than denigrate others? The world has moved on. But some of us are still stuck in our tight little world of prejudices & self–righteousness.
