12 May 2010

The Men in My Life

Raju Gopal Shetty: My Father

He was a complete foodie. Even in places of worship, he’d invariably be busy searching for good non-veg hotels. My love for non-veg food, short-temper & impatience comes from him. He pampered & spoilt me silly.

I was beaten the least. As a child, I used to do ‘susu’ at the very sight of the cane. The red lines on the legs & hands, on the rare occasions that I was beaten, used to last for days. The physical pain seemed to increase with all our combined howling. Lateron, the sisak sisak ke rona. I wanted to grow up as fast as I could to escape the corporal punishment.

He passed away on 11th Jan ’97. I didn’t cry or mourn or miss him that much, at least not as much as I was expected to! But I missed him a lot when I got married. Later, when my mother-in-law hurt me, I missed him some more. I wanted him to beat her black & blue! Had he been alive, he would’ve scared the day lights out of her.

I live in hope Pappa. Hope you’ll “deal” with her in hell.

Santosh: My Virgo Brother

My one & only brother. Younger than me by 3 years & older than Sathya by 2 months!! Very reserved & polite. He can do no harm to anyone. Minds his own business. Has few friends; all of them life-long friends. Extremely sensitive. Especially to what others say. Many times, I’d say something completely harmless & he’d be hurt & stop speaking to me for weeks & months! And I wouldn’t even know what hurt him in the 1st place! My mother always mediated.

Now that she is no more, & he has stopped talking again, I’m waiting for a miracle to break the ice between us.

Binu: My Taurean First Love

I met him in ‘95. I was 18. He was exactly 2 years, 2 months, 2 days older than me! We were class-mates in college, degree. We fell in love & stayed committed to one another for almost 8 years. Till 2005!! The year I married Sathya. I don’t regret it.

I only feel very sad, even now, when I think of the immense hurt I caused his parents. Chachan & ammachi loved me like their daughter, not (future) daughter-in-law. I hurt them a lot by my decision. They gave me lots of love. I gave them pain. I am very sorry.

I’ve already suffered for that – thanks to my mother-in-law. Maine apne karmo ke phal isi janam mein bhugat liye. Ab naye janam mein nayi kahani – happy wali kahani :) . Hopefully!

Kishore: My Virgo Friend

We met in Mangalore University. He was my senior from the Journalism department. He had feelings for me & wanted to marry me but I just couldn’t reciprocate. He was extremely hard-working, persevering & honest. To this day, I respect him a lot & hold dear the sincerity of his affections for me.

After passing out, he mostly corresponded through letters. I used to read & reread his letters because they were all written in impeccable Kannada. Each letter was a masterpiece. I used to also gape at his handwriting. It was so amazing you’ll marvel at its beauty. Sadly, I was forced to cut off all contacts with him. Last I heard, he had reported for his first posting as a Sub-Inspector of Police.

Shivaraj: My Aries Friend

He was my friend’s boyfriend’s friend. We met in Bangalore in April. I was in 2nd year degree. He was in sales with Johnson & Johnson. I met his wife & daughter years later in their home in Shimoga.

There are relationships that don’t lend themselves to any labels or names. I consider him my soul mate. He could decode my slightest gesture, a twitch, a movement of the eye. We’d instinctively understand one another. I am happy to have known him. We lost contact over the years.

Sathya: My Scorpio Husband

A separate blog post for him.
Shaadi ke 5 saal baad bhi thoda chaplusi karna padtha hai. Kya Karen? :))


  1. hi rhis is a piece of dairy man.. and a good one ...honesty n clarity... u can write!

  2. Mam,
    Really appreaciate your boldness and honesty.


  3. @ Praveen, Mohan & Pushpa: thanks guys

  4. really a heart touching line you wrote here,i m also feeling very sad 4 u.

    seo service delhi

  5. Very interesting one! I am curious to know about each of them in much more detail, so you may write a post about each of these relationships and may be a series of posts about Sathya... :)

    But, I am not sure if you would be okay with it. Maybe, you have walked a tightrope in this itself.

    I was touched by few of your lines about your dad.

    Wondering what keeps you so much far from your own brother.

    Not sure what made you make such tough decisions in important relationships.

    I know these are very personal stuff, so please ignore if i am getting into too much details.

  6. @Bharathiraja: series of posts - haha

    this has been a tightrope - YES

    that's perfectly fine. this is a blog which is in a public domain so that's ok really. you are not getting into too much details

  7. I can never be so truthful and honest with my emotions even if i want to. You have gone through so much in your life and still have the courage to express them with such sincerity and honesty.

    RESPECT, Ma'm :)

    You are one amazing lady.

  8. @Akshay: :) thank you Akshay, very kind words

  9. Now I am planning to write, Girls in my life...very nicely written:)

    1. :D yes Mithlash pls go ahead, i would love to read it :))

  10. Sujatha,am sad after reading this. I alwayz admired u but u really have strong personality which is enough to hide ur tears.. ...thatz why I like u... .urs best friend Sumy.

    1. Hey Sumy....thanks for reading & for those sweet lines too :)
      I was so surprised to see ur comment actually! Sumyz view anta hakondi alwa adikke yaarappa anstu :) Let me check the link

  11. A good piece Sujatha....I was wondering if you were going to be one up on Priyanka when the article ended....as usual, always worth a read:)

  12. In a truth or dare situation, you have dared and it takes more strength to accept honesty than being honest... Hope Sathya is stronger than you. Nice post!

    1. he is!
      so am i when it comes to his side of the story!

  13. Omigod, you are a shetty! So am I! But, I am a kulkarni now :-)

    Dunno why, I keep coming back to your older posts :-))

    1. and i am a gowda now :D
      i knew u were a shetty long back - from your FB actually