30 November 2011

Love to Hate You

No, this isn’t a spoof on the Arjun Rampal show. It’s actually the state of my mind. Have I hated anyone to the point of annihilation? Yes I have - my mother’s mother, my monster-in-law, & a friend’s wife - let’s call her memsahib.


Problem with granny: There’s always that 1 person in every family who is the villain. What she did to my mother is what I hold against her. I stopped talking to her. I’d never get myself to even see her face. My mother forgave her saying, “she bore me for 9 months in her womb.” Yes, my mother was a real life Nirupa Roy!


Problem with MIL: I did all I’d to make peace with the situation I found myself in, to please her, to find a way into her heart but nothing worked. Some people are born with every organ except the one that is most needed – a heart. After I’d reached the last ounce of my endurance, I remember saying to Sathya, “It’s over for me” And when I say something is over, it truly is over.



Problem with Memsahib: her ingratitude, artificiality & holier than thou attitude. She is the last of the surviving sati savitris/perfect bahus on this planet. Or so she thinks.


Does hatred kill us? Eat us? I don’t know. The people I hate I negate. That’s all. I don’t see them, talk to them. They simply don’t exist for me anymore. That’s the extent to which I distance myself. I turn ice-cold in the face of ingratitude & indifference. If I’m not wanted or welcome, I erase that person from my life. Is it good? Is it bad? This is not a question of morality. This is a simple, & yet, not so simple case of being unloved. The feeling of being unwanted can drive you to emotional desperation.


Why can’t I find within me the strength & the largesse to let go? Because I don’t live in half measure: I love fully, I hate fully. I don’t live cautiously or according to society’s book of superficial etiquette. When you love someone & do things in the hope that it’ll make them happy but it doesn’t, & they expect more & more but do not show gratitude or even a smile, is when it starts pinching, very hard. A calculative person treats a relationship with an excel sheet at the back of his mind with all columns/rows neatly filled in. Love someone with a hidden agenda, you won’t be hurt. You hurt when you give it your all & get taken for granted.


Sometimes, compromising & adjusting actually gives the other person the power to walk all over you. “Joh jhuka use aur jhukao”. I’m proved wrong when I think “This relation is important to me, so it must be important to them too & hence the way I’m working at it, they must be working at it too”. It doesn’t function that way. You realize it has been a one-way street all along & your decency is your weakness. That’s when deep love turns to great hatred & the hatred sustains you because the love has gone & left a gaping vacuum leaving the other face of love to fill its place – and that is hatred. “Love & hate are alike, it’s the same energy inverted” (Osho)


“Hate can become love: it is energy in a disturbed state. The energy can be calmed, stilled” says Osho. Maybe I’m waiting for a closure. Waiting for the day when I can actually face them & tell them they hurt me, the nights I sobbed myself to sleep or wept till my eyes dried out. Maybe I’m waiting for the day they’ll say, “I’m sorry I hurt you.” And mean it. Till then, I love to hate you.

116 comments:

  1. I was so afraid of losing relationship that I used to bear it. But, over the years I have seen, people start taking you for granted. Now, all I do is to keep myself happy. Bad people bring bad vibes to your life. So, erase them once and for all. I think I am on some 'Hate Mission' these days.

    Very honest expression and brilliantly written!

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  2. You are so good Sujatha. You are open, you are ready to forgive. Probably, I can never do that. Loved this line "Some people are born with every organ except the one that is most needed – a heart. "
    There atleast 10 good tweets in this post :)

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  3. i know a lot of people who i dont like(hate is a strong word) i ve classified them as 'negative energy people' and thats why i try to stay away from them :)

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  4. // You hurt when you give it your all & get taken for granted. //

    Very much like me. I have reached a stage where I have started forgiving people, today I do get angry, I react a lot but I am not too sure how much of hate I have....

    Some people, relationships are not worth it and shouldn't be cared about. Let it be, if they do not understand, they can walk their own walks.

    After letting it all go, through a post or which ever way, it does feel good.

    Hugs and sip a drink :)

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  5. I thought I am the first one to comment :( Saru, I hate you too :P

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  6. i may be wrong but i think u shouldn't have written this.. i mean ok to hate n write bout that memsahib character bt ur granny n mil..i dnt kinda agree..

    ur post is really naice..no doubt bout that bt still.. :) and i hate to write this trust me :)

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  7. I was one of the most short and hot tempered high school boy a few years back. I had problem adjusting with people especially all those who hurt me. But then my mom taught me I was wrong. She taught me to look into an enemy'e eyes and forgive. She taught me to say sorry even if I was not wrong if it could mend a sore relation. She taught me not to go to bed without settling a fight/forgiving those who hurt me that day. She taught me to strike a balance with my instincts, ego, moral and reality by standing strong for the best and compromising for something better. She is some1 who lives her life that way. I only had to adopt those wonderful traits from her.
    And now, I've lost the emotion of hatred completely. I don't hate anybody anymore. And because of those lesson, these days, I sleep peacefully every night....touch wood....
    Ohh... I've started to miss her already. Ok,,, I'm going home tomorrow morning itself..

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  8. Agree, some people bring out such strong feelings within us... all negative and hurtful... I believe one needs to be indifferent and a kind of internal peace needs to there when dealing with such people... all that rage, hurt, negative feelings simply drain you out!

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  9. @Saru: true Saru that's what happens with some of us. we fear losing a relation & bend & bend & then see that the person didn't even bother to notice us.

    right, to remain sane, we surely must keep ourselves happy first.

    @Sahana: 10 tweets?! i went back scanning the whole post for it. i m in dire need of good tweets :)). being new to twitter does that to people i guess :)

    about the post, isn't it true - the most critical organ - the heart- is not there then how can we reach out to that person? any other organ we can do without - biologically & otherwise - but a heartless person - sigh!

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  10. @Madhav: haha 'negative energy people' emit high frequency radiations - door raho :) sahi hai!

    @ashok: thank you Ashok.

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  11. This topic was something brewing in my mind for long. yes, there are some people who just don't deserve our love and time. and better hate them than trying to please.
    I must say, Your hubby is really understanding. not many men can take the fact that your wife cant bear your mom and vice verse. They try to make wives try, try and try harder.
    Nice post. really really impressed. :))

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  12. @Chintan: ya it was bottled up for too long without an outlet. blogging is therapeutic :)

    @Ashutosh: i know what you mean. i understand why you said that. granny/MIl references - too personal & revealing. u remember i tweeted saying this post is overwhelming me

    maybe i just wanted to put all the things into the universe to be absorbed by it & to purge myself of the pain

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  13. I can't hate people , at times i wish i could.

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  14. @LeoPaw: some mothers really are miniature versions of god sent to be around us because he has a wider audience to attend to. isn't it?

    i still wonder how could my mother forgive granny. its good that you've taken after your mother.

    in this matter, i couldn't or maybe consciously didn't follow my mother.

    aah! go home soon :) homesickness is not what i thought this post would lead to :)))

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  15. @Shilpa: yes Shilpa - it can drain us out & one must so avoid it. internal peace - yeah - that's what is needed

    @Kavita: you wish you could?? haha. that's a strange wish :) but you are sweet Kavita i will believe you when you say you cant hate

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  16. @Jane: i was happy just to see your name here in the comments box :) you know i was wanting to ask you why you no comment ever on my posts. i was curious about it! shame shame on me na? :))

    Oh Jane, Sathya did make me do that - try try try. all onus on me. turned a blind eye too for a very very long time! then by the time he realized, on his own, where the problem was, it was too late. i had moved on.

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  17. Sujatha, Your post reflects the honesty with which it is written and a crystal clear heart!We should look for small things and people who bring happiness instead of trying to appease hard nuts which are difficult to crack!

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  18. oh Sujatha.it looks like you have written what is in my heart in exactly the same words ,I would have said....

    Life is not so easy, I also just want it to be over, but sometimes it gets over only with life, not before that...

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  19. All of us want to be liked, and in the process, we often forget to clearly define our boundaries. This lack of clearly defined boundaries is viewed by others as permission to intrude on your space and needs. In our desire to be liked, this intrusion is not addressed and slowly festers till it turns into hate. It is ok to have needs, it is ok to protect yourself, and it is ok to be mad at anyone. It is our cultural conditioning that anger and hate are to be disowned that creates a problem. Loved this post and its conclusion.

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  20. Sujatha, Clearly you are very angry and hurt. It reflects in your post along with your honesty. I understand that some people are basically bad and no matter what you do they will not change. One approach you can try is stop thinking about them, don't give them undue importance or fret over why they are the way they are. Secondly, it is difficult to do but try to forgive them. Let go. This you will do to help your health and attain peace of mind. This is because all this rage and hatred bottled inside you is going to harm you in the long run. You need to heal. There is a lot of merit in forgiving to help one's own health and wellbeing.

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  21. jo mil gaya usee ko muqaddar samajh liya, jo kho gaya main usko bhulata chala gaya....life is too short for strong negative emotions. As always, you manage to 'connect' with your readers, the only test of a skillful writer:)

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  22. I guess whoever has hurt you, doesn't really want to do it to you, but is taking it out on you. Perhaps they have been through similar situations earlier and somehow feel good when they do similar things to others? Or they are feeling so insecure and are striking first hoping that you'd get intimidated?

    Of course, what they are doing is not fair. Considering that there was no provocation.

    I feel that distancing from them is a short term solution. After a point of time, we find ourselves distancing from 90% of all the people we know! Being humans, its not possible for us to live a life that is totally detached from the society.

    But there is one thing I have realized from ignoring all the people who are hell bent on doing something bad to us - It makes us bitter and sour. To the point that we start to take it out on others! That's why I feel that ignoring others is a short term solution.

    At this point, we have two choices - keep ignoring, keep hurting ourselves and keep hurting others (mostly without our knowledge) (OR) face them without any anger/ hatred and try to reason with them calmly (reasoning doesn't really work, but it distracts them!).

    When we choose the second option, we come to know that they are tormenting themselves much more than the little hatred that we feel against them.

    Destination Infinity

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  23. Have been nodding in agreement, the entire post..!!!

    Ignoring doesnot work for me.. Hating works, give me relief..!

    About the closure: This would only come, if they come ask for forgiveness.. yes I may be immature.. but it was me who suffered!!

    Still cant help nodding, loved this post totally!!!

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  24. oh..i did not know you can actually hate somebody!!! yes its a sad situation when somebody does not meet your expectations...like in a relation one wants the others to reciprocate... i wish all the 3 persons to change and you start liking them :)

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  25. I could relate to this.. I m also a sort of person who does things without thinking about the returns but I get deeply upset if I m not even acknowledged or worse if I m blamed for it. I follow the same policy.. I just ignore and behave as if those people don't exist.. But its a shell.. Inside I hurt everytime I see them..

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  26. I think it’s impossible to go through life without hating someone at all. You should be an actual saint to be like that :)… But yes too much hatred is like a 'keeda' in life, which will rot your soul to the roots. It’s important to be able to forgive and forget. Life is too short no to hate someone forever, to have the kolaveri kind of rage :)

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  27. I completely agree!!! Some people are just born heartless and it gets even worse when they bring out their heartlessness to us for no reason!!! And I hate truly, madly, deeply and completely!!! When you can love a person completely, I don't understand why you can't hate completely as well...

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  28. I uderstand every bit of the post as I have experienced all the characters that you are taking about here.

    A brave and wonderful post that investigaves the layers of human behaviour.

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  29. Mysterious feelings...Both Love and Hate... :)

    When you say that - 'The people I hate I negate. That’s all. I don’t see them, talk to them. They simply don’t exist for me anymore.'...don't you think it is more of an indifference..rather than hate?

    You are allowing yourself not to be affected by their presence. It is a kind of resistance...which in itself is a negative energy. :)

    Sometimes, I just think..we need to confront things as well...sometimes..just for the fun of it! :)

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  30. hate seems to be a very strong word when it comes to relationships.. have not hated anyone so far.. but yes when I was made to bend more than my spine could..i gave up.. felt very ashamed initially of giving up..but now i am really fighting..There are these people whom i loved and cared because they were always a part of me and i thought i could not live with out them.. but i just pressed the 'delete' button when the pot was really overflowing.. i don't talk to them anymore there is absolutely no interaction..i miss them,i feel sad, i cry a lot at times, i even dream about them...but my heart wonders if they are going through the same too...

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  31. Yeah hatred does harm us , But then it happens , I am like you if i hate someone i stop alking and no matter what they do after that or what happens I will not look behind ... It is veyr difficult to forgive I cant do it , and I dont think i have ever forgiven anyone .. I jsut cant.
    I treat everyone with respect even my enemies but that does not mean i love them again ..

    and compromise yes thats what it is giving the other a chance to do it all over again to you and hurt you again ..
    I beleive that even if they say they are sorry they hurt me , I still cant give it up.. although I dont love to hate them .. You are a good person and I know I have met you .. and its indeed very good of you that you are ready to forgive them ..

    I hope I can be half as good as you .. take care and all the best .. how is the little one doing ..
    Bikram's

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  32. @Rahul: sigh! Yes these three have been the hardest nuts of my life & there is not yet a machine invented to crack them.

    Thank you for your nice words

    @Renu: really? Hmmm….your first line surprised me.

    But the second line was so sad Renu even to read it that to actually feel it must be harder.i know what you mean when you say "it just doesn't get over...."

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  33. @Subhorup: hmm. Guess that’s true Subhorup. I failed to define the boundaries. & the intrusion festered inside me.
    Yes, I wish our cultural conditioning wasn’t so tight.

    I sleep tonight with the consolation your line offers “it is ok to be mad at anyone”

    thank you

    @Mithlash: thank you

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  34. @Rachna: that’s right Rachna I think at one point in time I drove myself crazy fretting over why they were the way they were & the bottled up rage did affect me - my sanity, health - everything

    I need to heal, yes, I need to forgive, yes, to let go at least for my own sakes

    I hope I can get there

    @Satish: that was one beautiful line of truth Sirji.

    Kaash bhulana itna aasaan hota.

    But I know I should at least try, life is too short for negativity – sach hai Sir

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  35. @Destination: you know I was solemnly reading what you wrote but when I came to the line “distancing from 90% of all the people” I let out a hearty laugh. It was such a stress buster – the irony & the truth in it :)

    @Jenny: you know Jenny, ek lamha aisa bhi tha when I wanted them to be wiped out from the face of this planet!

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  36. Good you did not join the diplomatic core - which requires tremendous tolerance, endless patience,artificial smiles etc.
    Jokes apart if there is no way you can change your adversaries and have attempted all possible methods and failed then the best thing is to maintain a distance and keep communication to a bare minimum but not cut off the person completely. Never know they may have a change of heart :)

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  37. @Israr: you are sweet! kahan ab badalenge woh log! lekin haan kaash woh samajh paatey

    @maithili: yes Maithili, like Destination wrote above, ignoring is only a short-term solution. we go into our shell & we hurt inside.
    hamara dard hami ko khaane lagta hai.
    i too feel bad that when we do so much at least an acknowledgement from the other side is it too much to ask?

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  38. @Prasanna: surprising isn’t it? True, such a person must be a saint!

    Haha this kolaveri is a killing rage – agree Prasanna

    Btw, it’s good that you’ve linked your blog to your name. Earlier it wasn’t so. Now it’s easy for anyone who wants to visit your space

    @Writing Bee: :))) that’s my kind a girl – hate & love FULLY

    But on a serious note, naah! It really shakes you up so much from within that its very painful at times

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  39. @Neeraj: really? u too experienced all these "characters"? hmmm :(

    @Kunal: true Kunal i am resisting. i am ignoring/avoiding. because i am sacred by my own overwhelming emotions. haath mei chura ho toh kaat dalun sabko! i am evil :(

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  40. I have read this post along with everything else you have written on your Blog and in comments sectiin too. Your voice is perhaps the clearest and most honest expression of an open mind and heart that I have found anywhere!!There are thousands of us who feel the same but a handful of them who accept...Glad to have found one!

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  41. I can feel the sharpness in your post now...just keep at it.

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  42. @Sunita: this is a new side of you i am reading here, a side i didn't know or didn't see so far.

    "bend more than my spine could" how correctly you've put it & then, when it goes without as much as a notice from the other side, that's when it hits us. its strange but you know from your blog i could never think you'd be one who'd actually "bend"

    yes, whether they too are going through the same...that is a million dollar question & whatever the answer we'd still be hurting either ways

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  43. @Bikram: yes, once we compromise the story takes a turn from there.

    No matter what people say it is not so easy to forgive & forget because sometimes the hurt is too deep

    @Ramakrishna: i so wish the change of heart happens.

    The diplomacy thing - oh that's a lot of work :D not for the likes of me

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  44. @Lipsy: I am touched by your words Lipsy. Thank you

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  45. First of all, the new simple theme of your blog is indeed attracting my attention. Nice to see you spending time in some renovation work!!!
    As u said, love is a kind of a two way traffic; only when the vehicles in both ends of the road abide by the rules, traffic is going to be smooth. The same rule applies to our life also.

    From: www.sriramnivas.com

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  46. People that we think loves us the most, usually takes us for granted. I can relate to many points that you've experienced. Just wanted to commend your honesty. Not every one is as brave as you, my friend :)

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  47. @Mithlash: :)

    @sriram: renovation work!! hahaha.

    yes, two-way street it is or should be

    @Kiran: thanks Kiran.
    true, only those people have the power to hurt us who we love the most

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  48. @Sujatha:
    I hate fully or I Love Fully helidrala :D that shows how good you are,
    This is my biggest problem I dont know why I just cant do either of them!!! Loving someone fully needs so much dedication. which I lack!
    Forget and Forgive things and keep moving :D

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  49. The thing is when you accept what people say and do, they tend to boss over us and they take us for granted. In a way, as you said, it is better to completely erase them from our lives, rather than just lamenting about it, coz they are simply not worth it and they do not deserve our tears.

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  50. A villian in each home.. Very true I guess. Or is it the way we percieve them. I dont have an answer. Well you are brave enough to have a clear thought on love hate relations. I dont think I've got there yet.

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  51. @Ramya: :) true, have to keep moving isn't it? no other go :)

    @Ashwini: that's right Ashwini. i realized after a lot of heartache that actually they were not worth my tears at all

    @Ashwini: haan & i wish you don't go there either :). not a place to be in

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  52. I can empathize you well..
    earlier my day used to get spoiled whenever I think of them..of course I don't think of them purposely but they wont let me go free..

    Check out this

    http://heyithinkthisway.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/is-hating-somebody-a-bad-thing/

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  53. You spoke my heart out here..I just don't know how to vent out hate.. It kills me within and I can't do a thing about it.. I just try to forget those.. But its tough when the people you once trusted more than anyone just change and now it even hurts to hate them.. thats what is the case with me.. S keeps telling me to ignore them but ignoring too hurts :(

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  54. I can relate to your post so much..especially about the calculative person n how they evaluate feelings part..I've been with such a person and still licking my wounds..btw, osho fan?..same pinch :)

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  55. @Bhavia: i just came from your blog after having read that post & i know what you mean.

    @M in love: ditto. ignoring them, hating them - it all hurts & the sad part is it hurts US, not them & i doubt if they'd even care :(

    @Ana: ohh that's painful Ana - person with excel sheet is worse than ...i dont know ...worse than what ...but really bad
    is it the same person as the one you had in mind when you responded to the post Fools Rush In?

    osho? haan! i had this phase when i read him a lot. what he said intrigued me & some parts of his lectures were very interesting

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  56. u already got so many comments that mine will probably go into the next page. well i don't opine about other people's business so i can only say i loved ur post. its rare to see someone writing with so much honesty and as always u r an amazing writer.

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  57. @deb: hello no buri nazar on my comments section ok?? :)

    honesty? sigh! ab iss zindagi mein aur rakha hi kya hai? like i wrote elsewhere, 34 is a good age to be finally honest with oneself :)

    thank you Deb.

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  58. This is the first time that i have come to your site & i liked your post.It takes guts to be so frank in public.
    While it is true, that compromising may lead to being taken for granted;it is also a fact that adjustment & adaptation are required for harmony.Ultimately it is up to the person concerned, what s/he wants to save & what s/he discards.
    lol,i look forward to reading more from you.

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  59. Amazing post. I agree to all that u have said but will never be able to shut them out of my system. Every time i meet them I talk to them as if nothing has effected me. I some how cannot show my hatred. Wish I could do that.

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  60. love for everyone hate for no one..:) as i previously said I like your writing style another impressive post..:)

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  61. @indu: welcome here :) and thank you for the nice words you said.

    hope to see you again & keeping my fingers crossed you'd like the other posts too :)

    @Anonymous: i did that too for a very long time the "as if nothing has effected me" thing. but then it started eating me from within.

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  62. @Shoaib: thank you Shoaib.

    hope you've seen my comments on your older posts

    @Dhiraj: :) thanx

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  63. i liked this “Love & hate are alike, it’s the same energy inverted” (Osho).True indeed

    Ur naani{mothers mother} must have done something very wrong to hurt you so much.

    "Nafrat kijeye jam ke kijeye par itna khayal rahe
    kal gar taqdir phir se saath bitaye to sharminda no hona pade"

    {Hate,hate as much u want but take care so that if destiny makes us sit together we should not feel ashamed of what we said earlier}

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  64. I'm sure posting this blog has had a cathartic effect on you and the hate is waning.

    I liked your line: "I love fully, I hate fully." I too have a similar problem. But I think it's not very good. I would like to change that in my case.

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  65. hmmm well to love fully and too hate fully has certain drawbacks..dont you think?! so kabi kabi durmiyan may chalna bhi theek hota hai Lurki:-)

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  66. An honest and nice post.

    Of the many contradictions that exist in the world, the contrast between love and hate is perhaps the starkest. It is one that helps us value true love while understanding the ramifications of hatred.

    Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:
    There's nothing in this world so sweet as love. And next to love the sweetest thing is hate.
    te is perhaps the starkest. It is one that helps us value true love while understanding the ramifications of hatred.

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  67. sometimes...it's best to let go..of everything....

    http://sushmita-smile.blogspot.com

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  68. @Vinod: sharminda nai honge. kabhi nai.

    @matheikal: yes, it is not good. wish i could change it too. we invite more pain to ourselves this way. but then again pain is an enabler

    @Mishi: sahi hai sweetheart :)

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  69. @Saibaba: thanks. yes Wordsworth said it perfectly

    @shooting star: ya. guess so. i am trying. thank you

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  70. There are many people whom we dislike. And yes, some whom we hate.
    It's natural. But honestly, are they worth hitting our head over and over again? :) They just aren't worth it. So don't bother :)

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  71. @Philo: DONE Juhi! wont bother. you are right, they are not worth my precious head. :DDD

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  72. I just know what you are talking about, but there are people whom you can never no matter what not avoid in life then how does one ignore them?
    So best is to wait and wait, if you are the patient kinds, which I am not at all, so I just shout out, no not in front of them, just alone, from where no-one can hear me. Or now a days, I just blog out.

    This statement rings such a true bell for me, "Sometimes, compromising & adjusting actually gives the other person the power to walk all over you." Read my post on the same, http://lotus-n-peacocks.blogspot.com/2011/10/sweet-and-sour.html

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  73. Such a honest post! Adjusting and living someone's life is never gonna keep us happy! But living a honest life, and erasing people who are heartless is essential to be happy! This is a thought-provoking post!

    http://myspace-ss.blogspot.com/

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  74. @pooja: just came back from your post. m glad you understand the whole dilemma.

    @Sowmya: haan Sowmya! i wish i could "erase" these few :)

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  75. Why are you still waiting for closure? It's you who's getting effected, not them. And you certainly don't expect them to change. So why fester the hurt?

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  76. Very well expressed. I guess, we all have that one person in our life who doesn't care for us. It can be someone from our kith and kins or maybe the one whom we have loved more than our life. Sorry to hear that you had to suffer so much cuz of her. Keep your head up and I hope that someday she regrets her folly and turns up to you with a feeling of guilt.

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  77. Very heartfelt. It is a very troublesome dilemma and it tends to consume you. I can understand how tough it would have been for you and it shows how strong you are. :)

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  78. Haha :) But I know it's not easy to stop bothering :P

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  79. Good one.One should not betray what is deep down and try to be nice when we don't feel good about someone.

    Completely agree with your last thought,until the time teaches them a lesson or until the wound is healed one should wait for the reversal of the mindset or let things be as it is.

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  80. firstly very well written the way u have expressed your emotions through your writing..2ndly am jus the same i can love or hate but nothn in d middle but at times i feel prob.if i was more diploamtic like my daughter things would have turned out right.but then again this is who i am take it or leav it

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  81. @Purba: ya i am the one getting effected, not them. that toh is correct

    @Aakash: aah! i so wish that happens! but knowing them - very doubtful :(

    @Raj: troublesome for sure Raj :D

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  82. @Philo: hey u cant do this u-turn now.i am counting on you dear :))

    @Vishnu: oh yess! it is so hard to be nice when inside we are ready to murder them. very tough

    @alka: true Alka i too have wished ki kaash i could be diplomatic but nai hota. its too difficult & so not us

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  83. true 1 person of villainous feature is always there in a family... destryin n rotting all the fun.

    there mere existence looks like a heavy burden on this earth n u feel like punching that person from head to toe.... ohhh I do all this in my mind n spit all my anger out :P
    It helps in tolerating that person just one more time n than process continues !!

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  84. @Jyoti: yeah that is the sad truth
    and boy, you do sound very angry here :)

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  85. yeah coz I have 2-3 of such kind of person in my family.... thanks to god they dont stay wid us :P

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  86. @Jyoti: wo! 2-3 is a hell of a lot :D
    thank god indeed that they don't stay with you

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  87. It shakes you so much that sometimes you feel guilty for hating that person..!! And even worse (a thousand times) is when you realize you hated the person for no good reason!!!

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  88. Hi yaa, gosh that was indeed surprising to hear...they say that everyone has something to teach us...like a bad boss tells you dont be like me..thats all i know..i mean I had this bad boss in me life and I found that the more I hated him, the more tough it was to move on and get a new job..so one day i took a deep breath and told myself...i neednt hate him caus he is here to tell me what i shouldnt be doing..and I just said fine I wont like repel this guy just accept things and wait for my next job without losing my mind...and voila i was able to move in just a couple of months..:) just wanted to share this with you :) tk care

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  89. @India's: yes that's how it is i guess. some people just show you how/what you shouldn't be. learn the life lesson & move on
    thanks for sharing

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  90. Dear Sujatha,
    Please do visit http://bigbitz.blogspot.com/2011/12/its-time-for-award-ceremony.html .
    I am honored to present a Blogger Award to you.
    Af'ly
    ..LeoPaw

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  91. Dear Sujatha,
    I'm honored to nominate your name for a blooger award.
    Please visit my blog for details.
    Af'ly
    ..LeoPaw

    ReplyDelete
  92. interesting read. sometimes its best to remove the hard feelings from our heart and let go. Makes life easier for us. As for others, let them deal with it. Quite liked your blog.

    http://styledestino.blogspot.com/

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  93. @Leo: thank you so much :))

    @SJ: thanks a lot SJ. m glad you liked. :)

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  94. I love to hate some people too. As you said, when I hate someone, I also get the same feelings. I don't even like looking at their faces, not even seeing from far or even hearing their names. Sometimes, you can't go away from them because of pressures from people you love to love. That's one of the most painful things that I have ever experienced. Wanted to write about this some day. Will take some inspiration from your post.

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  95. @Bharathiraja: yeah...pressures from people you love to love....that was nicely put

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  96. Sujatha: loved your post. I'm new to "conversations" but I related well to this post of yours. For me, It's always "Aaar ya Paar." Good to get a company in that. Yes, there are some people who get on to your nerves and it's good to erase them. I do that too :P

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  97. @Gargi: Welcome here Gargi. M glad you could relate to it.
    aar ya paar :)) yes that's how it is when we've given it our all to the relationship

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  98. Sujatha, great post :) i guess its best to either fully love or fully hate someone. black or white, no grey areas.telling someone 'you're dead to me' and just erasing them out. otherwise the hatred gets so complicated.. it happens to me.

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    Replies
    1. yup, the complications are far too many
      thanks Shruthi for understanding :)

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  99. It is easy to say and accept that you love someone, but very very hard to even accept that you hate someone. Possibly because it is such a strong word and feeling. It would be better for our own well being to remove these people from our consciousness since removing them from our lives might not be possible or practical.

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    Replies
    1. true, they cant really be removed as in 'removed' but yes, at least from our consciousness

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  100. So well written! I don't think anyone can so easily come up with this post so boldly! Ever! I'm so glad to be following you Sujatha! :)I'm Officially your fan! :)

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    Replies
    1. :))) thanks

      and for the past hour or so i been searching u on indiblogger. and yet to find u :(

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  101. I'm quite a fan of your posts now. A very honest post Sujatha, it almost seems like a conversation. Very well written.. :)

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    Replies
    1. fan? hahah tumbha dodd maatu :) but anyways,thank a lot for reading an older post. appreciate it :)

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  102. hi Sujata!!
    Tats a very true fact...People in this world do have all other organs except heart..it hurts when they take our efforts for granted..M truly experiencing the same..

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    Replies
    1. ummm yeah it is very frustrating when we are taken for granted and a horrible space to be in

      take care

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  103. Very nice post.. and very truly written.

    -Arun

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  104. okay I completely got that post! that is exactly as i am too! :) so more power to you girl!

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