I had no topic to write on. Over a year & a half into blogging, I finally suffered from a serious case of the infamous writer’s block. Then, I read this news bit in Femina: “When singer Taylor Swift ran into her ex, Twilight hunk Taylor Lautner, she chose to sit next to him. They were even laughing & making fun of each other through the evening”. And I thought to myself, I can totally see myself doing that. If ever! Of course, much to the discomfort of everyone else I’m sure; most particularly his wife Jenny, my ex’s that is.
I broke up with Binu but was still in touch with him for over a year or two after that. He had mailed me about his marriage & sent photos when his daughter was born. In spite of parting ways & marrying different people, 6 years on, the one truth that we can never deny is the fact we were each other’s first love. The other is that we were both self-made, came up in life the hard way, saw lots of ups & downs, in our careers & personal life, & through it all, saw each other grow & prosper.
So, if we ever run across each other, I know that I’d definitely talk to him. I don’t think I could hold myself back! I’d be more than happy to catch up on our lives. I’d ask him about his job, but mostly about Chachan & Ammachi. I’d wish him well with his family & his life, I’d ask him about the car we bought together which he kept (!), about what happened to my favorite bean bags which he refused to part with even though that was the only thing I wanted & almost begged for; which is funny because I had bought them & yet he never gave it to me (!). And most definitely, I’d chat & play with his lovely daughter. I’d be curious to know how he feels as a father. What has fatherhood meant to him knowing that he loves children so much? Sathya considers children a big nuisance, & if a kid ever makes contact with him, which would be by mistake or a majboori, he’ll ensure the kid leaves in a pool of tears. That is the extent to which he’d have harassed the poor chap by making some of his smart-ass comments. Oops, I digressed!
Speaking of Sathya, I’d love to meet his exes & watch his reactions & mannerisms around them now. He has this cutest smile whenever he remembers his interesting past & I want to see the kind of smile he has when he sees one of them. What will he talk to them about? What will he say? His first GF’s house is behind Cauvery theatre & when we were dating; he had pointed it out to me once. And after that, every single time we pass by, he never fails to steal a glance & I never fail to catch him in the act & we laugh about it. I tease him saying, “Haan! You are seeing if she is there?” And he’ll say, “Arey she is married I think by now. Anyways it was so long ago”. I like the sheepish grin he sports at those times. (As long as it is restricted to the grin, I’m fine. Nahi toh I will devour him alive!!)
But he is so good at camouflaging his emotions; it’d be pretty hard to get a “controversial” look from him. He is an expert at pretending that he is not excited or moved by what he is seeing. His heart may be doing multiple somersaults at accidentally spotting his old GF someplace but his face won’t betray a single ounce of the emotion. Me? I’d act like a lunatic & it’d easily take two people to tie me down & control my excitement. You should actually see me when I, by chance, meet someone after a long time especially someone I was fond of. I am a circus.
Wonder how it is for people to run across someone whom they once loved but separated on a bitter note & now to sit or see or face that same person after ages once again! It depends, I guess, on how you parted ways. If it was a betrayal of trust or a very violent & messy break-up, then obviously one can’t really cozy up to the person. Maybe some would most surely run for cover or in the opposite direction. And there might be those who would find any unexpected meeting with their ex the most excruciatingly painful of their days; like rubbing both salt & pepper on their still fresh wounds.
Footnote: I had to put this footnote because i read the first set of the responses i received and realized I came out all wrong in this post! For the first time!
Please note that I'm not talking about having an affair or rekindling an earlier relationship AT ALL. All I'm saying is IF i ever happen to meet my ex, say in a restaurant, in a mall, on the road, in a theater,wherever, I'll not hide or run for cover. I'll talk, exchange pleasantries & move on. That's it.
God, I hope you guys don't think I'm thinking of going back to my ex. NO WAY! It's a closed chapter.