The BOY-Friend

It’s time for the 4th guest post on my blog: ‘The BOY-friend’ by Sunita Kurup of “I See, I Feel, I Say” fame. It’s one of the few blogs I got ‘addicted’ to pretty early & I only want to say this: her blog ROCKS. Read this for a taste of her delightful sense of humor.

Over to her now: The “BOY-friend”

I was never in the category of ‘good girls’. Going into kitchen was only to steal goodies, dad’s tummy no matter how big I grew happens to be my pillow always, 95% of my friends are ‘boys’, 5% of the girls who were friends with me were only because they wanted to get closer to the guys I knew: D :D. Yes and parents of these 5% girls told them to stay away from me because I would ‘spoil’ them. But I was always my dad’s princess and my mom’s headache. One night something happened which not only changed my mom's thoughts (I think so) but also made me feel good, feel much secured & stronger. One of my friend's mom (from the 5%) found out that she was going around with some guy from the same school. This friend of mine was a very quiet person. Even in 11th grade her mom packed orange juice for her in a bottle, she spoke so softly that anyone could hardly hear her. I was always compared to her in my house, when it came to behaving like a 'good girl'. Anyways, so the night her mom discovered what her daughter was doing in college besides studying, she thought it was her moral right to barge into our house and question me O_O. ”It is Pinky who is spoiling my daughter; she is the one who always roams around with boys ". And she went on and on about my 'reputation' just because I had too many male friends. All this while my bro was looking at me at his wicked best, trying to tell me “tera to aaj band bajne wala hai". My mom listened for a while and then said, " my daughter has a lot of friends who are boys, she also goes to their houses, but my daughter is at home as of now studying, she topped her semester exams, and yesterday when she bunked college with all her friends she had told her father about it in advance, I have nothing to worry, you should worry because it’s your gal who has not returned home yet. Instead of standing here and talking crap about my gal you should go and look out for your daughter ". I was zapped and my bro's face became like " aarey yeh kahani mein twist kaha se aa gaya"

No one brought up the topic again and my mom did not discuss it with me. But that was not all about it in my life. I have always been questioned about having more of guy friends then gals. Aare it’s my choice yaar, nobody ever questioned me why I was closer to my dad than my mom or to my bro than my sis, then why about friends. Every male friend that I have had has been looked upon as my 'Boyfriend'. Why?? Well the friend is a 'boy' so technically yes a 'boyfriend' but I certainly will not end up into a 'dil ka connection' with all my male friends. These were my thoughts all through my teenage.

Things started changing as I moved on in life with studies, career and relationships. The most common scenario is you befriend a guy, obviously because you are comfortable with him. Here you have no intention of getting any closer than being good friends, but because you are with that friend all the time, even your other friends start questioning your relationship status with him. Not to blame the world but really can a girl & a guy ever be 'just good friends’?? Why not? I ask...I would like to sit and get drunk with a guy friend and collapse in the same room, but then bloody hell the 'sexual tension' takes place or atleast there is a fear of 'that thing' happening. You feel emotional and want a shoulder to cry, if it is a female shoulder then its fine, but if it is a male shoulder then you will never know when the face turns to you and you get a kiss or smooch on your lips and next day you are going around with that 'good friend' of yours. And then suddenly this 'good friend' bans you from being friends with other good friends. Why?? Because he fears the same story might happen again.

Even if you and your friend have a nice friendly relation, the world will want to put a name to it or atleast your respective partners will. I have this very close friend and I was shocked when during a coffee session his wife referred to me as his sister!! I almost slipped the coffee and told her that her husband was not my brother nor do I have any such brotherly feelings for him. He is a good friend that’s it. I have never ever in my entire life called a guy my brother just to escape eyes of the world, and I will try never to do it in future either. I am proud of my friends and my relationships with them but it does not change the fact that I got married to my best friend. We decided to take our relationship beyond friendship when we realised that we would like to spend our lives together as husband and wife. So then does that mean that I am contradicting my own thoughts??? Why exactly is it so difficult (not impossible) to have a friendly relationship (not brotherly) with a handsome successful hunk?? Is sex the only reason?? I cannot answer, I do not know. Maybe when I grow older, with experience I might have an answer but as of now I have no idea why all the ruckus and hulla gulla about the ‘Boyfriend’!!!