25 May 2010

Opposites Attract

Do they, really? Yes, they do. Do they last? Not really. Not always.

Opposites make great romances. For marriage, there has to be a number of things in common for the couple to make it work & to live happily ever after.

During courtship, being with a different (as in, different from you) person, keeps the tempo high. The relationship is alive & kicking, as every day, you discover new facets to one another hitherto unknown & hence very appealing. Your tastes in music, movies, leisure, food, & fashion are vastly different & that gives an opportunity for you to explore the other side of the road.

In a marriage, however, not being able to enjoy the same things means trouble; at least in the long run. Imagine a husband who loves the movies & late nights & impromptu get-togethers while the wife’s idea of entertainment is shopping in Big Bazaar. It spells trouble to me. Or if the wife loves partying, window-shopping, eating in fancy restaurants & the hubby dear is averse to it. All he wants to do is come back from work & snooze during the week. And during the weekends, snooze some more. Trouble again; more so, if one of the partners, especially the wife, is particularly aggressive of her needs & wants.

If she is docile & subservient & always jhukoas her head & says ‘haanji’ to every command that drips out of her pati parmeshwar’s lips, all is well. But we all know how many of this particular species of women are left in the world today!

I, for one, can’t bear to sit aside & watch life go by. Would detest a life of ‘happy domesticity’, which correctly translated means, being confined to the four walls of the kitchen, to cook & clean, & to obey the mostly nonsensical diktats of the husband. To hell with it! I’d rather go solo, any day, than live in such servitude.

Luckily for me, my pati dev & I do share a lot in common. We both get bored by the eleventh minute of an hour. And so we’re always up to something.

Differences…there are a few. Money & childcare are two major things we, ok I, fight about. He is pathetic with both money & a child. His mindless spending was a danger sign I should’ve heeded to before marriage. He believes in “Aaj ka ab, kal ka kal dekhenge” and sermonizes to me saying, “Worry not, my sweet child. If God takes care of the little sparrow, how much more will he take care of me”. He hasn’t ever read the Bible.

As for raising a child, don’t even get me started.

But we live on. And move on.

Strangely, I would rather be with him than anyone else. Because at the end of it all, he is the only one who can make me laugh, right through my tears, & melt, in the middle of a volcanic burst of anger.


  1. Ur writing delves deeper into our social framework. always enjoy reading ur writing.

  2. @Neeraj: it means a lot to me - d appreciation. thank u Neeraj

  3. Can't agree more on this, beautifully written :-)

  4. @Bharathiraja: thank you glad you liked the post

  5. I feel couples should complement each other in their respective likes,dislikes,nature and way of seeing life.

    That sounds poetic but it could be that reality is different..

    I also have believed that opposites attract and that's the best for an exciting life..Never knew there are two parts to it like marriage and love..Something to think about..Good one.. :)

  6. @Vishnu: yes Vishnu LIFE-LONG to spend with someone who is totally opposite to us requires major compromise and adjustment from one of the partners which is as you know 'mostly' the woman

  7. I had read this post when you had left the link at Jane's blog :) That's when I followed you :) :)

    God knows how I m going to live with the differences :P Opposites are great romances agreed but that is what keeps the relation going- the great romance! :D

  8. @M : oh ok! :)

    sure, the great romance plus a few fundamental similarities in your approach to life. you must have a few things in common that you both will absolutely not live with or compromise on. THAT commonalty will be the glue because once your expectations from life matches then difference in behavior can be lived with :))

  9. So true. Some nice pointers for me. :D