17 June 2011

One Second

8th June: 2 days after Tanvi’s 5th birthday. She & I were crossing a road near our house. I was holding her hand. I looked to the right, saw a bike coming, stepped back & looked to the left. There was an auto approaching. By the time I looked again at the road ahead, Tanvi had left my hand & was running across. In a second, I saw the horrifying scene of her being hit by the auto. She fell down & the back wheels of the vehicle ran over her right foot. The next thing I know, I was carrying her in my arms, hugging & consoling her. She was showing her bloody (literally) foot to me & crying out, “Mummy, my leg.” She was completely shaken & scared. I lifted her, sat in the same auto & went to the nearest clinic. I’ll never forget what she said to me. We both were sobbing uncontrollably & out of nowhere she said, “Don’t cry mummy. I love you mummy. I’ll never leave your hand again. I’m sorry mummy.”

I remember a friend once telling me that a hospital is a depressing place. But the children’s ward is the worst. You feel so sad at what you see there, that it makes you want to kill yourself. I now understand what she meant. The past few days that Tanvi has been suffering, & especially the day the accident happened, seeing her in so much agony, tears streaming down her cheeks continuously, it’s a nightmare. I understand now why some people say, “Mere dushman ko bhi yeh sazaa na miley”. What do you say to a child who looks at you, full of hope & complete helplessness, & cries “mummy, it’s paining a lot”? I’ve felt so helpless.

Seeing her learning to walk again is heart-wrenching. Because every step she takes sends millions of pain shots through her body & she begs me, “Mummy, I can’t, too much pain.” I remember teaching her to walk when she was only an infant. It was such a pleasurable & memorable experience then. Today, it’s very painful for both of us - she can’t walk because of the excruciating pain & I can’t see her writhing like that but I have to.

One second’s haste has caused my child two fortnights of trauma & me & Sathya unending ache. One second was all it took for my daughter, who had just turned 5, to become confined to the bed, listlessly watching T.V. She is not the type of child to sit in one place for more than 10 minutes. She is so naughty that I’ve pleaded with her, “Enough for 1 day Tan please!!” She is always either busy climbing the railings of the building stairs or bouncing up & down the bed or running, walking, sliding, basically up to some mischief every waking hour. To see her now, unmoving, is a nightmare.

But I thank God that it was only a laceration. It’d have been worse, a fracture or something else, god forbid! And thank God because even though she hasn’t been able to walk, her appetite is good, she talks, smiles, laughs & even cracks jokes, like before. They say people turn out to be the exact opposite of what their names mean. Like, girl named Shanta grows up to be very short-tempered. I named her Tanvi because it means ‘a delicate girl’ & I wanted her to be strong. And I’ve realized that she is!


  1. Oh..my..!really felt sad for Tanvi..and thank god,there was no like fracture..

    Dont worry,lend your support..She will be alright in few days with your love and support..

    May god bless her!
    Take care..

  2. thank you Gowthami...means a lot...

  3. Lots of love to Tanvi and wish her speedy recovery and I know kids are very strong its u parents who need support :)

    Dont worry all is well...

  4. thanks Ramya..ya she is facing it head on...

  5. [SHOCKED]

    Just at the sight of the image of this post, I was shocked. Held my breath till going through the entire writeup. It did prick my heart.

    Well, do not push her too much to walk straight away. Give some time for the pain to get over. The foot seems to be swollen coz of a lot of inflammation. Make her eat enough fruits and meds. See to it that the would doesn't leave a scar behind. Consult a good pediatric. Do not forget, she needs your love and care - the most.

    I pray for her early recovery, God bless Tanvi.

  6. *correction*
    See to it that the WOUND doesn't leave a scar behind.

    [Also, sorry for such a delayed response. I was too occupied for the past week or so (couldn't go through any of the Blogs I regularly read) and the typo is a result of lack of sleep]

  7. That pic is very scary. Very sad for Tanvi.. All is well I hope now. Wishes and love to Tanvi and you. Everything will be fine.. Thanking God for nothing major happened. Phew! Do take care.

  8. OH MY GOD!!
    I hardly did breathe as I read the post. Poor kid must have gone through so much of pain.
    I can completely empathize with you Sujatha on how you feel when the kid is in pain.
    We feel that there must be some way to transfer all pain.
    I am deeply touched. Just praying for fast recovery!
    Pass this on to her
    Kiss on the forehead. Get well soon darling!

  9. thanks Prashanth, Ashwini, Sahana ...the wound is healing...she is able to walk slowly bit by bit now..thank you all for your prayers

  10. OH I hope the little one is doing fine and the hurt has healed up ..

    I cant stand pain to kids , sometimes during my job i visit places where parents dont give a damn about kids and I feel so angry that I want ot shoot them for not looking after the kids ..


  11. Yes Bikramjit she is better now & finally started going to school

  12. Hi,I just stopped by your blog.I am really sorry you and Tanvi had to go through such a harrowing time.I truly hope your baby is getting better.Watching our baby sick is probably the most terrible time for a mommy,when we are so utterly helpless.Can quiet imagine what you must have gone through,trying to fight back your own tears and staying strong to give your baby some more hope.Keep the faith and will remember you and Tanvi in my prayers today.

  13. @Anu: thanks Anu, she is fine now & back to school. that was so sweet of you..to remmber us in ur prayers..thank u :)

  14. I hope that your daughter will come out a stronger and a wiser person from this experience and it will make your family bonds streonger.

  15. @Sunil: yes Sir it really has changed her, she is very cautious now.
    few days bak, when we were crossing d road, i saw her talking to herself. i asked her what was dat. she said, "i told God to make us cross"

  16. oopsssssssss.....these are things are our worst fears and my god you faced it!!! My eyes welled up instantly...who can understand it better than a mother. I really don't have words.....just thankful that all is well. Thank god!!!

  17. Oh dear. That must have been such a traumatizing experience to you and Sathya, as parents. I can only imagine the pain little Tan must have gone through. So glad it wasn't a fracture or something serious. Tan is a tough cookie, just like her mom. :)

  18. oh yeah she is :) and thank god it's all over that phase