19 August 2016

Success and Circumstances


Is the gap between circumstances & success wider for the one from a disadvantaged family? Is the jump higher & stronger, if as a child you grew up in a less fortunate family? 



There are, I believe, three kinds of situations.The first is when I belong to an eminent family & have gone beyond their name & fame & scaled greater heights than them professionally.  Situation number one: “We are great. But I am greater.”  The family is great but the individual is greater. A study by John Hopkins University explains that “affluent students experience the luxury of their families’ safety nets, & can explore varied careers, thus attracting new money.” There are greater chances of upward mobility if children are exposed to resources reserved for the rich like better schooling & safer neighborhoods. The wealthier or born to influential parents have a direction, a life path carved out, all they need to do is walk on it, stay focused & deliver results. Look at Mukesh Ambani. 

However, even in such families, not everyone excels. Situation number 2.    “We are great. But I am a nobody”. This is when we belong to an illustrious family but have not been able to make a name for ourselves. We are materially blessed. We have everything at our disposal but no drive. Is the pressure to perform greater with such kids? I feel the children belonging to rich, powerful & socially well-known families feel the pressure to outperform. Failure is not an option for them. Success at an accelerated pace is the norm or expected outcome. Some deliver & fall into the first situation. Some can’t take the pressure, wilt & fall in this situation. These kids might look at  the life of an achiever with derision because they have seen the cost at which the success was achieved. There are those repulsed by the thought of the endless struggle & 24/7 commitment to work with no time for family that they would rather choose to stay away from the rat race. The search for their own space & identity takes them longer than what their families would appreciate & the world has patience for. Abhishek Bacchan caught between two legendary actors as parents & a supremely successful wife is a classic example. 

“We are nobody. But I am somebody”. This is when we belong to an unknown, ordinary family & go out there, stripped of everything but sheer hard work. I am biased in my view that children belonging to limited resources have a harder time making a name for themselves than those who are born with a silver spoon. The John Hopkins study states that “Low-income families focus on immediate needs, such as food & transportation; rich families invest more on future-oriented purchases” It’s a hard life, the doing everything from scratch. Our skewed education system too sometimes fails the worthy ones. There are countless examples of meritorious students unable to go for coaching classes or enter premier institutes due to lack of financial backing. But it’s also equally true that these kids understand that they need to make the best of what is available. There is no point blaming the system. After all, the same system produced a Ramanujam, an Abdul Kalam & a Jack Ma. So what distinguished them & other numerous achievers from “we are nobody” family but “I am somebody today” is an urge to prove, to achieve, to excel. Their unbridled passion & determination is a definite success marker.



Robin Sharma puts it succinctly in his book “The Leader who had no Title”: “Each of us is born into genius. Sadly, most of us die amid mediocrity. The best you can do is all you can do.” We need to shine by doing Seriously Exceptional Work (SEW). Between the 3 categories, what differentiates them is the proverbial fire in the belly. Success has more to do with our compulsions to excel than our circumstances. If you have a place to go & want to go there badly enough, you will pave your path.




24 comments:

  1. I feel, rich kids are often spoilt. It is difficult for them to surpass the first generation wealth-fame-success makers. But I respect those people, who - in spite of their circumstances - become exceptional. Mukesh Ambani is the perfect example.

    But relentless pursuit of success, like everything else, comes with a cost. If you are willing to pay that cost, you should go ahead. But I find many people chasing their dreams unaware of the cost and then repenting later on. That's just immaturity.

    Destination Infinity

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  2. Nice to read.. Relevant observation

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  3. Good one Mam :)

    hard work and then when that finishes put in a Bit more hard work.. always pays .. maybe not immediately but it does pay ..

    Bikram's

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  4. This post couldn't come at a better time than this...when the girls at Rio have just proved your points...success from ordinary to extraordinary by sheer grit, determination backed by hard work and talent!
    Situations and adaptability to them are the vital corner stones today and that differentiates between the winner and loser!

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    1. oh thanks for pointing that out...the Rio timing. It hadn't occureed to me at all

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  5. Interesting analysis. The fact is no one has it easy: it does not matter where you come from, it's how much effort you put in - many can dare to dream, but how many have the conviction, determination and the dedication to turn those dreams into reality?

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  6. Generally hard work pays and when accompanied with favorable circumstances,the ratio of success is greater than those without the advantage.
    That said either of them ,hard work with skill or favourable ircumstanes alone do not assure success. Call it destiny,fate or karma,this factor is most important.
    Look at Rio,Dipa is an extremely talented girl, brave to take extreme risk and worked very hard in her sport.It was sheer illuck that her bottom slightly touched the ground depriving her the medal when the other equally talented girls are now basking in fame and fortune that they richly deserved.A bit of luck is needed to be at the right place,right time and right circumstances.

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    1. The Dipa example was insightful Sir. Thank yOu. Something tO ponder.over

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  7. interesting to read..I believe that hard and focused work always pay irrespective of pedigree.yes privileged people get many chances to prove themselves, just like Abhishek bacchan and its not given to ordinary people.But if ordinary people also work hard, they also find succestinspite of all the odds.

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    1. that's an encouraging thought :) Der hai par andher nai

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  8. I think Ramanujam and Apj A Kalam were extremely passionate about their fields... They had a sort of magnetic bond with their chosen fields and simply did what they really loved and ended up becoming famous... Both were neither after money nor power nor success as the world spells it... They just did what they absolutely loved doing.... Unfortunately there is that set that gives it's own definition to success and chases it either due to own compulsion or external social pressure.... Life is a race participants basically...

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    1. that's a good observation about Ramanujam and Kalam. Passion and dedication really does make a difference.

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  9. I think the third one works well for all - “We are nobody. But I am somebody”

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  10. Interesting post. I liked it. I want to give another example of “We are great. But I am greater”.

    Kennedy clan in USA is very rich, famous, and politically connected. The patriarch of that clan was Joseph Kennedy. He was a billionaire. He was U.S. Ambassador to Great Britain. He gave his son, John, one million dollars on his 18th birthday. John graduated from Harvard. Then World War II broke out. While many rich kids avoided joining the military in order not to be killed during the war. John joined the US Navy. He was commanding a Patrol Torpedo Boat (PT 109). He commanded 3 officers and 9 enlisted men. His boat was destroyed by the Japanese in the middle of pacific ocean. Two men died. He and others swam across the ocean to Solomon Islands. He himself carried 2 injured men and swam the ocean. He was given the military’s highest award.

    He ran for the President of the United States. He was elected in January 1961 at the age of 44, the youngest President at that time. During the 1962, Indo-China war, he sent US troops to assist the Indian military. The moment US troops landed in India, the Chinese withdrew.

    He was assassinated in November 1963.

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    1. oh that's indeed an apt example for the we are great but i am greater situation. thanks for the input :) appreciate you taking the time to write it.

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