Blood is thicker than water

If you are in India, try this once. Travel in a crowded bus, train or metro.  You will find a lady hanging in there, without a seat, and struggling to balance herself. Give her your seat - out of kindness or just good, old manners.  She may thank you but most likely she willl plonk herself on that seat like she was its rightful owner. Like it belonged to her. Like you HAD to give it to her. The journey will continue. Hereon, you will hang in there and jostle for space. The minute the seat next to her is empty, she will turn around and call her brother, uncle, sister  or aunt. Not you! No. You, the seat "sacrificer", will go unappreciated.

Shouldn’t she have given the empty seat to you? Isn’t that fair? Isn’t that the right thing to do ? Apparently, social propriety is not a two-way street when family is involved.

Now, imagine you are the jury in a school competition. Your daughter or niece is one of the participants. Everyone can see she doesn’t stand a chance. They expect her to not even qualify.  But would it be possible for you to score her low or disqualify her? Wouldn’t the nature of your relationship with her cloud your judgment? Would you be fair in your assessment? Would it be asking too much of you to be impartial?

Family  over everything and everyone. Truly.  Dynastic rule in politics is a shining example.  Rahul Gandhi is incapable, incompetent, completely undeserving and  yet goes on to be leader of what was till recently the single largest political party of India and enjoys the privileges that come with political affiliation. Mulayam Singh & Family OWN the state of Uttar Pradesh. Deserving or undeserving is not asked. Not contested. One’s blood is the only criteria. And go on to commit crimes and atrocities that are brushed under the carpet. Nepotism in the extreme? You bet!

Fairness is a tricky word. Doesn’t apply to us when one of our own does something wrong. Blind loyalty to one’s family is a common scenario. I recollect the Hindi film “Damini” The maid of the house is raped by the protagonist’s brother-in-law and his friends. Everyone, including her husband, tells her to shut up and not implicate him. She doesn’t – shut up. She goes to the court. And then, her entire world comes crashing down.  Her family turns against her and plots her murder.

Why is it so hard for us to be objective when we are faced with a situation involving a family member? Why does our sense of right and wrong fly out of the window? Moral dilemmas are always settled in favor of the family member no matter  how in the wrong they were.  Why do we close our eyes to the transgressions of our near & dear ones?