21 June 2010

Mother

Many say a woman is incomplete until she becomes a mother. So someone who can’t conceive is termed ‘barren’. It’s such an archaic, cruel thought. It’s deeply hurtful too; particularly when you equate motherhood to being a biological mother. What does it take to be a mother? A child born out of your own womb? That’s it??????????? HELL NO.

It takes compassion, kindness, forgiving nature & a clean heart to be a mother in the true sense of the word. Look at Mother Earth. Does she discriminate between male or female, black or white, rich or poor, clean or unclean? Most good mothers are like that. My mother was one of them. She only knew to give; to one & all. Her love was not bound by lineage. It was just love; no conditions applied.

On the contrary, I know of mothers who are over-sensitive towards their own offspring but care two hoots for other children, even friends of her own child. They understand & respond to the cries of hunger, pain, despair, & loneliness of their own child but are completely insensitive to similar feelings of another child. How is it that possible?

I am protective of Tanvi, for instance, it pains me when she falls & hurts her knee. I am quick to respond to her every, sweet request. Like when she is hungry & says, “My stomach is flat. See!” Or when she says, “I can’t sleep. Tell me another story”. I’d do the same if her friend or any other child was present. I’d respond to that child the way I respond to Tan; if not with as much love, at least with as much kindness. My logic is: they are little children, they are all the same.

Why do we reserve our love only for our child & treat other children like they were the plague? Some mothers give these infamous “you dirty child, don’t come near my baby” look. Or in a group, they obsess over their child & exhibit complete indifference to another one standing right next to her, maybe wailing in sheer physical pain. It beats me. It is like mothers have these ON & OFF buttons embedded within them. The motherly love is switched ON only & only for her child. The moment there is another child in the vicinity the OFF button is activated.

Pity them! To be loved by a child is God’s way of blessing you. The more the love you receive from them, the more you are blessed. Closer home, I pity my mother-in-law, for she has missed out on the good fortune of being loved by her own blood, her first grand-child. Incidentally, her name is Bhagyalaxmi meaning good fortune!!

15 comments:

  1. I completely agree with the point that some moms can love only their own and are indifferent to other children.I used to think that men do so all the time but now I know women do the same.I think they feel their kid is superior or they are jealous and so cannot love some other kid blindly.All my life I have loved children.I think a true mother just doesnt love her own but has the innate capacity to love all children.They say children respond to love shown to them.I have even seen moms being so envious that they tell their kids to avoid women who display any affection towards to them.This is when you doubt your capabilities of being a good mom.A true mom would get up to pick another's crying child,or make something or feed it when their own moms arent available or busy...I think its just not a true mom but a "real" woman.

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  2. True but its human nature. We are selfish by nature because 'I & Me' are important for us , damn care about 'others'.

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  3. @Ayyangar: glad to have you on my blog Sir. yes - the 'I & Me' in all of us

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  4. A thought-evoking, wonderful post on motherhood.

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  5. @umashankar: thank u Umashankar. M glad you liked the post

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  6. well, you have a point but to turn the argument on its axis. rn't the kids lucky that their moms think they r the best kid in the world?

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  7. @confused: of course they are but that doesnt mean u act/behave like the rest are the plague. praising one need not mean negating the presence of another

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  8. We can learn a lot from the little ones! The innocence and frankness. Nice to see them smiling at everyone around. Even to strangers. when we give measured responses to even our dear ones!!

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  9. @sibi: yes, the little ones are a joy to b around n fulfill our lives in more ways than one

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  10. Good attempt to define motherhood...Have never thought in such an angle about motherhood...Inital lines say it all..If philosophy is looking beyond the obvious and see things "as they are"& "as they are meant to be" then this post is philosophical.. Great thought and nice writing..

    Regards,
    Vishnu MS
    http://vishnu24.blogspot.com

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  11. @Vishnu: thank you Vishnu. those were some very encouraging words you wrote. appreciate it.

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  12. Oh! this line is divine: To be loved by a child is God’s way of blessing you.

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  13. @Neeraj: thank you Neeraj. surprised but happy to find u on one of my old posts :)

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